My Childish Thoughts !

I wish I could peer through the window of my mind. To understand the source of my illusions! Would it be as dark and murky as it feels when the hope is gone? When you know that it no longer will come to be. As a child I just knew it would be! I would be a hero to my son, I would be the perfect father to my little girl. And the Love of another I would share and notice no other! She would see to my weakness and never tell of it. I could cry when things were heavy on my heart and mind, and she would love me for and through it all. It would seem that I have chased that illusive dream…to this reality. I am no ones Hero…and Perfection of any kind never found me. And that Love… has surely escaped me. All these things I had known to be in my future and yet have known them not! And now through older and wiser eyes I have began to see things as they truly are. My life… such a waste of the talents that were given to me! I chased all the dreams and never readied myself for them to come. It is not enough to want a thing… You must prepare for that very thing. Prepare your mind and heart and do not be lead astray by the wilds of your mind! The day for some will come... to understand death is a soothing thing. Not to fear it… but to look forward to it. The true speed at which it can and will come... will leave you in awe.